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Post by CkRtech on Aug 18, 2004 0:23:06 GMT -5
Alright - now before you all start thinking I am in a relationship or something.....stop. I realize that the subject line isn't typical....but this isn't something I started a post on to just have fun - I was in an arguement with three other people (I would indeed call it an arguement & it lasted about 90 minutes) over what love was.
You can type a lot about it....but if you don't want to write much then let me ask you this -
What three terms come to mind when you try to define what love is?
I am not setting this up with my own take because I don't want to sway things one direction or another by giving the foundations on which the arguement was based.
Again, I realize you could have fun with this (because we have fun in almost every post) - but please try to give it some thought and respond. I've gotten to know a lot of you fairly well (in an internet message board sort of way) over time and would appreciate your input on this & respect your opinion. Don't worry about my friendships with these people - that isn't a problem. We're still cool.
I came here because just as I am driven by emotions, I am driven equally as much by logic & at this stage (after arguing in circles).....I want some third party opinions.
Drag whatever you want in - religion, etc....just promise me that everyone here will not fall into the same trap that my friends and I did.
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Post by meiko on Aug 21, 2004 16:07:52 GMT -5
Well My personal feelings on love is hard to explain there is love of so many different things and you can't compare love for a item like you can love for a person if you love someone you didn't give yourself to them they probably took your heart without you ever realizing it. Love is something you experience not something you look for. For some it's the greatest feeling there is out there. as for others its something that drives them insane cause it's what they look for. Love is an expression that everyone knows but doesn't understand until expeirience for themselves
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Post by CkRtech on Aug 21, 2004 21:45:20 GMT -5
I had somebody tell me that love is a choice and not an emotion. While I realize choices are made in love, I don't believe one can say that it isn't an emotion.
Thanks for your reply. The thread has been a "No landing zone" for a few days now.
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Post by meiko on Aug 22, 2004 0:41:15 GMT -5
I don't understand how someone can say love isn't an emotion. Love is a feeling therefore it is an emotion. Oh and granted you haven't had a reply on thes but just to let ya know this is the only reason that I decided to join TT&C I know jeremy and kyla and all but when it come to transformers I know nothing
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Post by Destro on Aug 22, 2004 2:29:49 GMT -5
I agree w/ meiko. I also think love is one of those things you can't really define. I'm assuming you're referring to romantic love, which is the most difficult to define. I can say I love tfs, (not romantically of course ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) )but I can explain that easily. With people, it's much different. You can say, "she's funny/cute/intelligent", etc., but so are your female friends; why don't you feel the same about them? It's a strange connection often times and defies definition. And love is definitely not simply choice; Sometimes you can fall in love w/o meaning to, trying to, or wanting to.
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Post by Bear on Aug 22, 2004 7:30:22 GMT -5
How about that Chris. I thought this topic would die a slow lingering death.
When you have been married for more then 5 years love is going to the store for your wife to buy her........well you know what I am talking about. (insert blushing smiley here)
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Post by Alter_Ego on Aug 22, 2004 8:48:39 GMT -5
And when you've been married almost as long as Bear, love is taking care of your husband when he is upchucking his guts then physically loading him into the car to drive him to the doctor's office, and when the doctor says he has the flu it is taking him home and helping him get better, even though you know that you will be getting it next....
Love in the romantic sense is part emotion. When I leave to visit my family, and he can't come with me because he doesn't have enough vacation time, I still miss him terribly the whole time I am gone. Then when I'm going to see him again, I still get butterflies in my stomache out of anticipation. But it is partly a choice too. When I wake up in a bad mood, I try very hard not to take it out on him. When the same thing happens to him, I give him space to get over it.
Sex is also a part of romantic love and not just a small part. While I'm not going to go into details about our sex life here, I feel that this is improtant enough not to be left out of the conversation. Sex is a very intimate act between two people, and intimacy is a large factor in maintaining a relationship.
Love is a lot of things. It is very difficult to define, and there are many ways to love someone.
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Post by Bear on Aug 22, 2004 12:43:51 GMT -5
And when you've been married almost as long as Bear, love is taking care of your husband when he is upchucking his guts then physically loading him into the car to drive him to the doctor's office, and when the doctor says he has the flu it is taking him home and helping him get better, even though you know that you will be getting it next..... I thought this was going to go into a whole drinking thing ![](http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v136/TTC_Forum/coffee.gif)
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Post by s.marlinfan on Aug 22, 2004 14:40:31 GMT -5
How about that Chris. I thought this topic would die a slow lingering death. When you have been married for more then 5 years love is going to the store for your wife to buy her........well you know what I am talking about. (insert blushing smiley here) ![](http://img8.photobucket.com/albums/v28/gunman_sr5/lol.gif) That is so funny Cyberbear because it is so true. ;D ;D ;D I would try to add to that but there is nothing else to add. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
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Post by Alter_Ego on Aug 23, 2004 15:56:34 GMT -5
One more thing.... When you love someone you are willing to put their needs/wants ahead of your own. (This is why Jo'Roq has any TFs at all..... ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) )
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Post by Bear on Aug 23, 2004 17:58:03 GMT -5
One more thing.... When you love someone you are willing to put their needs/wants ahead of your own. (This is why Jo'Roq has any TFs at all..... ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) ) I'm not sure if that was a shot or in jest. I will take in in jest unless you tell me otherwise.
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Post by Alter_Ego on Aug 23, 2004 18:10:28 GMT -5
Bear, lets just call it a barbed teasing directed toward my husband. The initial comment was realistic. However, I don't guess I really need to re-post my feelings toward TFs.....
*shrugs shoulders* Just the way I am I guess....
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Post by Bear on Aug 23, 2004 21:06:08 GMT -5
Got it. I have no disagreement with the initial comment. A good relationship is give and take. Sometime the families needs more then outways ones personal needs. Unfortunately credit cards can make it a little to easy at times to fullfill not only needs but a lot of unneeded wants as well. That is why we have no debt other then the house. It was not always like that mind you. We fought hard and got out. I guess what I am saying is that even when you love someone there can be a lot of roadblocks that can keep you apart. Money being one of them. As a collected I often wonder how many others sacrifice the community property to further their own collection.
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Post by Alter_Ego on Aug 23, 2004 22:02:54 GMT -5
Got it. I have no disagreement with the initial comment. A good relationship is give and take. Sometime the families needs more then outways ones personal needs. Unfortunately credit cards can make it a little to easy at times to fullfill not only needs but a lot of unneeded wants as well. That is why we have no debt other then the house. It was not always like that mind you. We fought hard and got out. I guess what I am saying is that even when you love someone there can be a lot of roadblocks that can keep you apart. Money being one of them. As a collected I often wonder how many others sacrifice the community property to further their own collection. Agreed. Every relationship is different, and you have to weigh all the factors when making decisions relating to budgets, boundaries, goals, and just life in general. Money is the number one arguement in marriage. More divorces started as money disagreements than any other single factor. It is always going to be a touchy subject, even when there is more than enough of it.....
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Post by meiko on Aug 24, 2004 20:37:36 GMT -5
but if your in love then money should not matter when your in love you should be in love with the person not the money unless you love money see well the thing is if you love someone why let something so little get between you I don't understand it yes I am only 20 but the number one thing I am tired of hearing is your to young to understand......who set the age for love? who is to say what love is yes we all have our own explanation of love but when it comes down to it love is different to everyone person some people say they love eachother and well let the significant others be with other people no in my eyes thats crazy but in others it's love so it's different to every one person and it's different to that one person all the time it's up it's down it's left it's right it's all around but at the same time it's nowhere. Love is everything and nothing all at once. well my venting on love is out
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Post by Bear on Aug 24, 2004 21:05:56 GMT -5
Once you are married reality sets in after a short time and money needs to be a huge part. It is unrealistic to try and live in an All You Need is Love world. As A&E said money situations are one of the biggest influences when it comes to break ups. I am not saying I would love Mrs. Bear less if she didn't make as much, but it would sure put a damper on things we enjoy doing with one another.
There are certain expectations that you have of your spouse when you get married. One of those needs to be what responsibilites each play in the marriage.
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Post by Bear on Aug 24, 2004 21:06:56 GMT -5
How about that CK. We are on page 2 of a thread that lost its pulse ![](http://img8.photobucket.com/albums/v28/gunman_sr5/7_5_131.gif)
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Post by meiko on Aug 24, 2004 21:55:15 GMT -5
I understand all that and I understand that you need more than love but is it really a big enough issue to get divorced? I mean shouldn't you try to work through it? Yes I know it's a big deal and it plays a big role and everything however it is easier to cope with 2 heads instead of one.
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Post by CkRtech on Aug 24, 2004 22:57:32 GMT -5
Heh. It is amazing Bear. Just needed to get the ball rolling.
I think a lot of people who marry too young have big problems with money and other issues & these people represent a high percentage of those who get divorced with one of those subjects representing the axe. I know several people who are married/just got married/married really young who could not have even TALKED about that sort of thing in advance because they were way too young to have experienced it.
Obviously - not all young marriages go this route...I am just using it as a heavy percentage example.
Take my parents as an example in terms of handling money - I don't recall my parents ever having major issues with how they handle their money, what they spend it on, etc.... Sure there have been things they have had to discuss for a long period of time. However I don't recall either of them ever bent on buying something that the other doesn't want them to get.
For instance - they have a joint bank account between the two of them & share it (obviously) for the major life everyday expenses. My father has a seperate account which is for his collectibles hobby. He wheels and deals in sports memorabilia. Any time he buys something of that type for himself or sells something from his shop/online/etc...the money gets transferred to or from that account. On occassion, he will (of course) transfer that into the main account. This account functions in its own world so to speak and is independent of either parents income (except for any major fluxuations)
It's a hobby that is fun for collecting and also makes money. My mother doesn't know the balance in the account (she probably could at any time) - but that is the whole point. It doesn't matter because it doesn't directly involve how they spend money together.
Kinda wordy....but it makes sense to me. ;D
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Post by Alter_Ego on Aug 25, 2004 13:33:22 GMT -5
Heh. It is amazing Bear. Just needed to get the ball rolling. I know for my part, I just needed to think about how to answer it for a while.... It's quite a philosophical question, that in order to answer honestly you have to take your personal beliefs and situations into account. Love may be universal, but the application and daily reality of it is as individual as DNA.
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